MumVoice.com

MumVoice.com

Uniting mums and their experiences through writing. A page of hope for those suffering post natal depression or anxiety.

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Tag: working mum

September 19, 2018September 23, 2018 MumVoice

Tiffany – how she coped with acute depression after her second baby and how she found a way back to health and happiness

June 1, 2018August 4, 2018 MumVoice

Interview with Ted & Kip founder chats all things bright and quirky design

December 14, 2017December 14, 2017 MumVoice

I used to wear pleather to work

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About Me

Hi! I’m Antonia, British blogger, Mum to two wild things and one very domesticated cat. Founder of MumVoice.com, a platform for opening up bravely honest conversations about Motherhood and championing Mumpreneurs.

 

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I just finished reading Winnie The Pooh to my 5 year old and that last page had me in FLOODS of tears. The ability to capture the sentiment of loss, fear and change that happens with growing up and entering a new phase of life. So beautiful. How incredible that AA Milne could phrase such complex and emotionally intense themes for little children to understand and enjoy. If you think Winnie the Pooh is a simple story then truly you are missing the majesty of these tales. I genuinely think he’s a genius. Art is so essential to our life as mindful and content humans. A way to relate our human experiences, deal with our complex emotions and make sense of this world. This book brings so much comfort and hope. It’s also so bloody funny it’s unreal. Pooh sticks or Eyeore or Pooh getting stuck in a hole or floating up on a ballon. Themes of friendship, diversity, growth, acceptance, love and kindness flow through this timeless book. Finding the joy in the creative fields has been an unexpected joy in parenthood. Painting with bold messy paints, fairy hunting, exploring forests, making up stories, reading stories, feeling pebbles on the beach again, marvelling that some really are worth keeping. All so fundamental to a life well lived. I’ve only just finished this book but I can’t wait to read it all over again. To laugh at our favourite bits, to put on the silly voices, to cry at the end. Oh, Pooh, you really are a draft bear ❤️. #winniethepooh
I’ve really been working on myself this year. There has been big and conscious effort to stop complaining and start changing. Of course it doesn’t happen over night and it’s been hard work but I’m really starting to see the change come about. At the beginning of the year I decided to reflect back over my last year so that I could reflect and be grateful for the highlights. This process meant I noticed a lot of my highlights were doing new things and making time for social activities. It’s meant asking for favours and also paying for childcare. But it’s also required deeper discussions with my husband. Does he want more time for social engagements/ meeting friends/ trips without the kids? Then how can we make that work so we both feel we’re getting social time without building resentment or jealousy. Mostly We’ve worked it out quite easily just by talking, planning and ‘trading’ nights. I don’t feel guilty because for every night I have ‘off’ he will too. We’ve also taken trips together which have helped us reconnect and find our old fun (less sleep deprived) selves. And now that I’ve started searching for the joy in things more and more appears. My friendships are once again becoming more connected, I’m reading more, bought a piano, making art, writing, cooking more for pleasure and expression. Finding our passions and making time for them is not a luxury but at the heart of being alive on this planet. It’s part of our purpose to explore what we’re capable of and to enjoy the mini moments of joy, laughter and connectedness. It’s helped me reprioritise a lot in my life, helped me shed the guilt and allow myself to grow 🌱. It feels bold taking the risk with small kids and a busy job but ear-marking time for my relationships and my passions has been the key to a satisfying year. . #mum #selfcare #motherhood #selfhelp #time #being #passions #art #relationships #marriage #happymarriage #gratitude #reflection #mindfulness
The lost years. those early years of parenthood. Everything feels built on shifting sands. ‘But I thought...??!!’ Has been one of my most often used phrases. ‘But I thought babies slept a lot? But I thought he would be more hands on? But I thought I could work and be a parent? But I thought my second birth was meant to be PAINLESS!! (I yelled all through my second labour 🤣🤣✌🏼)’. So after six years I finally managed a mini break with some bad ass women folk. Friends since before we knew where tampons went and friends still after discussing many years later how yes it’s very possible to insert two tampons accidentally and not even notice 😎 (was that just me! 🧐😂). Boy have we CHANGED over nearly 30 years. But friendships I’m proud of, women I’m honoured to called me friends. Strong, capable, beautiful and bright bad ass women. Parenthood is motherfucking HARD. To give so much to one’s children, to feel so trapped, to sacrifice, to worry and nurture and grow someone else. Let alone the dynamic of a good/ bad/ variable other half added into the mix. Parenthood never seems to let me stand still, the moments of feeling proud of myself are fleeting, my confidence and independence has taken a battering. So to have a few days to build new memories I’ll treasure, to feel heard and valued. To laugh. To really fucking laugh without worrying about waking a baby or parenting on a hangover. To feel the kinship and the power of deep rooted friendship is an exceptional gift. A highlight of my year. If you can make a trip with a good friend happen please grab it with both hands 💫💫💫🙏🏼. (Please use tampons responsibly)
It’s official. I’m going to grow out my bleached hair and go totally natural. I was in a restaurant the other day (The Petersham Covent Garden btw. Fancy pants. Slow service but lovely plants). I saw a lady with the most beautiful natural brown hair and I thought it was terrific. How shiny, real and natural. Can I accept myself more deeply? Is that crediting hair with too much power over my self esteem? Why on Earth am I dying my hair so it’s all frazzled and split ended and then I get roots which I only have to lament. My natural hair is so soft and such a rich colour. Will I stick with this? Who knows. I hope so. I guess it will take at least a year to see the final results but here goes....#goodbyebleach #hairchange
As I get older I notice myself getting less and less risk averse. I find myself too tired to even contemplate switching up the ‘norm’. What with jobs, marriage, schools, childcare, buying a house and setting up a home. Rooting myself has been a great joy but also a bit of a nuisance. I’ve noticed my inflexibility and unwillingness to try new things. So this year I’ve been pushing my comfort zone. Trying to tap into those things I used to love and lust after. Last week we went to Sardinia with @neilsonholidays and because the childcare was mind-blowing fantastic (my kids would cry when I’d tell them they had to leave kiddie club 😂). The freedom of being an adult without having to worry about my kids safety meant I got to do a tonne of stuff I haven’t done in YEEEEARS! I went kayaking, biking, paddle boarding. I even went swimming far out into the sea and lay on my back like a piece of drift wood. My soul felt throughly replenished. I had the energy to do some boxercise and core fit (we went to bed at the same as the kids so i haven’t slept so much in years). I even got a bit carried away and learnt to drive a power boat (but that’s a story for another day). Reminding myself that holidays are for me too. A genuine thank you to Neilsons who kept a very varied family of four all brilliantly happy for a week 💫💫💫. And Sardinia is such a special place, clear waters and pine forests infusing the air with their smell. #summerholiday #holidaywithkids #sardinia #neilsons #familyholiday #kidsclub #bluesky #happiness #soulful #reconnect
It has felt almost impossible to work in London this year with all the problems with the trains. At least once a week I’m delayed getting home (and I only work 3 day weeks). Tonight I’m waiting an hour for a train and then will have an extra long journey due to ‘signalling problems’. That means I don’t get to see my kids before bed, talk to them, hug them whilst they’re awake. I have 30 minutes with them tomorrow before I try and jump back aboard a shitty southwest non functioning train. Each time I have to claim compensation and go through all that box ticking. Never mind missing my dinner and basically getting home and getting in the shower and going to bed trying to diffuse the anger with some tv. But before that I shall queue for a seat on a badly ventilated train, usually standing watching pregnant women, old people and children also being denied seats. I shall witness the meaness that comes with scarcity. Because the expensive childcare and long hours and fighting for a promotion, pay, equality and job satisfaction basically seem a total fucking breeze when you compare it to the ineptitude of our national train ‘system’.

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antonia@mumvoice.com
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