I used to wear pleather to work

…I used to wear pleather to work and was asked to pretend to be Bon Jovi’s guitarist so they could light it real nice. I used to go to private screenings of the hottest new films and meet and greet some pretty fecking hot male celebs. I used to think nothing of passing Russell Crowe on a horse or Claudia Schiffer just ‘popping in’ and realising that Supermodels have well earned that little tag there. I’ve been on film sets filled with awesome pyrotechnics, I’ve pretended to take a bullet to the chest and dressed up as a drug-addled prostitute. I’ve had a sandwich on an astonishingly realistic medieval castles – built out of foam. I used to eat burritos on Monday, vegan salad on Tuesday, Sour dough pizza Wednesday, Pret Thursday and whatever-the-hell-took my fancy Friday. I used to think, ‘my job’s not glamorous’, but that’s because I was deluded.

I had no idea that once you have kids it’s a highlight if you can change a tampon without an audience. The effect of having kids on my privacy, sense of self and career options has been undeniable. And that’s why I’m here, that’s why this blog exists. To champion the heck out of Mothers everywhere; stay at home Mums, working Mums, beautifully fashion forward Mums and Mums who love staying in the PJ’s. Mothering is HARD but sharing the stories helps and hearing about Mothers who run their own incredible business is awesomely inspiring. I hope to create a voice for Mothers everywhere and promote Mothering and Mum-run-businesses. Our Mumvoice is shockingly powerful, especially if we use it at a collective.

Right now I do a fuck-tonne (a new measurement you understand when you procreate) of manual labour. All my studying at school, those hard earned A grades, that university degree and dance diploma, plus the ten odd years job experience did NOTHING to prepare me for this part of my life.

Once I became a Mother my thirty years life experience seemed utterly insufficient. I’ve had to rebuild myself and my life. I’m still in the process of it I’m afraid, so don’t come to with for any answers. I’m a (hot pajama-dressed) mess of contradictions. The constant tussle between head, heart and the fucking mountains of laundry, sweet Jesus! I need one of those teapots from Beauty and the Beast who just sings and cleans merrily (without payment).

 

So you’ll find me blogging here about my day to day life and you’ll find other Mums on here doing the same. Mums make for some of the funniest comedians you’ll ever meet, they’re also courageous and sensitive and empathetic so give them some support and let me know what you think. It take a lot of guts to spill your innermost secrets here. You’ll also hear about Mums who are running their own businesses in all sorts of amazing and diverse fields.

My life has irrevocably changed and I don’t know how I feel about that, but I can say that seeing my son chew socks like a puppy and play peek a boo with me is kinda epic. My heart never did summersaults like that before kids. And yesterday I managed to bunk my daughter of nursery so we could grab hot chocolates and pain au raisins. Celebs were always a crushing disappointment, whilst my kids surpass my low parental expectations daily.

I’ve lost my voice today. I don’t know if that’s symbolic. My daughter is thrilled. I have taken to clapping when I need to tell her off. People in Sainsbury’s think I’m applauding a naughty child.

 

 

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